...of a very old feeling.
I remember that warm, tingly feeling that I used to get when I was younger. It happened when I came out of the movie theatre after a particularly thrilling film or anticipated the next episode of a TV show. It's hard to describe or explain it, but it felt like the entire universe was opened up and every possible possibility lay exposed before me. My heart expanded and I was filled with more joy than I could comprehend.
The full feeling never lasted very long; perhaps an hour or two. But for days afterwards the faint traces would remain. I hadn't felt that way in many years, and still remembered it fondly, almost wistfully.
And now it's back. Ebbing and flowing, but I can not erase the stupified smile from my face, and it's got nothing to do with drugs.
D. has finally got a day job. Hoorah! After 16 years of night shift (driving), D. is officially working during the day and sleeping at night.
His little brother Joe, helped him get the job working for Dahlsen's in the Frame and Truss department. And I can't believe how happy it's made us. Words can't explain it, and wouldn't do it justice.
... into the realm of self-employment.
Today I officially registered as the sole trader of Ripples Magazine. Woo Hoo! As you can probably see, I'm very excited. I know it's taking a long time to get this venture off the ground, but I'd rather take my time and think things through, than rush ahead and fall flat on my arse.
So when the certificate arrives, I will go to my local bank and open an account. One step closer to receiving subscriptions! *does a little dance*
...to this weekend. At all!
Christine's nana died the other day, so we sent her some flowers on behalf of the soccer club. But that does mean that there's a chance she'll be too distraught to run the Canteen on Saturday. I say chance because some people deal with their grief by sticking to a routine and keeping busy, others don't. I'll wait until Friday before I call. I can handle all the ordering and stuff. That's my favourite part actually.
But either way it's going to be a busy weekend. And not fun busy or motivational busy. Nasty busy. Tired feet, just want to curl up and die - busy. Yuck.
... Oh sorry, I mean Traralgon. Same thing really. But it's frickin' cold. I've had the heater running non-stop every day for the last couple of weeks now. And I'm terrified of the upcoming gas bill.
But the rain's been good. Our back yard is clay so we've developed a nice little dam. It'll be months before we can walk on it without sinking. Must make a mental note to put extra drainage in.
As for the magazine saga, I've worked out most of the business stuff but I still can't come up with a title that really strikes me. And no one I've spoken to has been terribly helpful either. I guess they think that it's a flash in the pan, and I'll never make it work.
I want to prove them wrong.
Yep, today I finally got off my backside and began working out the details for my main goal. I'm going to publish a fiction magazine. It's something I've always wanted to do, and I think that it would truly be a dream job. But all I've ever done is think about it, until today.
So I'm feeling quite cheerful, even though I have a cold. I can smile and sniffle at the same time though.
And I will be very glad for the week to start so I can get some rest.
Friday - Four hours in the morning scrubbing soccer club toilet block and changerooms. Urgh. Spent the rest of the day scrubbing my own house.
Saturday - Got up early and worked on the soccer club website. Then helped out in the canteen at junior soccer for 4 hours.
Sunday - Ran the canteen from 9:15am to 6pm. Also found time to clean the changerooms again. Sort of. Absolutely shagged.
Planning the big snooze-in for tomorrow morning. Bring it on.
I really hate when Mum starts her phone call off like this. Once it was your Dad's OK, but he's fallen out of a tree.
This time Dad's got gout. For a second I just thought, What the F***? Isn't gout some sort of gangrene that sailors used to get? Then Mum was telling me about how he couldn't walk without a frame and then he fell on the stairs. I listened with incredulity because he's a very active guy who still works 6 days a week in a factory, with other handyman-type jobs for people around town.
But Mum assures me that it's a treatable condition, and she SMSed me a few minutes ago, saying that they can now take the walking frame back to the Chemist. Apparently the center of the dining table looks like a Pharmacy now.
A horrible day that I'm not real keen on dredging up but as I have been neglecting my handwritten journal, I'd best make sure that I put down an account somewhere.
David had worked the night before, so I was quite prepared for him to crawl into bed just as I got up. I gave him a kiss as I always do and got Alex off to school.
When 1pm finally came around, I put David's gift and a little card on the table, and went to wake him up. Then I got the washing in and started to fold it as I waited. When David came in he saw the gift, and sort of paused for a second before saying "I told you not to get anything." Then he stomped into the lounge and turned the TV on.
He sat there for an hour or so, without speaking. So I put the gift (it's a DVD) in the cabinet with the rest, tore up the card and threw it away. We didn't speak until about 5pm when he said that it was time to go grocery shopping.
He asked why I seemed upset and I told him. He said "Oh." Then he drove around town for a few minutes, trying to find a cafe that was still open (there was only one and because they were gearing up to the evening meal rush, they'd only serve us coffee, which I didn't want but David ordered anyway.) It was quite awkward and he seemed angry that I didn't appreciate what he'd done for me.
I'm so disappointed that I can't find the words to describe how hurt I am. We've been together for more than 4 years now, and he's never been like that before. He's never been the most romantic man on the planet, but he always made some small effort. But this year was awful.
*Sorry for the rant*